"The Biggest Little Man on the Team"
So who’s the best team in football as of November 1, 2010? If you listen to the pundits, analysts, and mediots, it’s the Pittsburgh Steelers. Hmmm…and what’s their record?
That’s right, my friends. The best record in football this morning belongs to the New England Patriots, the team filled with rookies, second-year players, and a bunch of no-names. Except, of course, for the general leading his forces, Tom Brady. So here we are again, reminiscent of the gut-wrenching, nail-biting games of the 2001-2006 era, and you know what happened then. The dynasty, the three Superbowl championships, the birth and growth of what will probably end up being the greatest quarterback in football history.
Next week we go to the armpit of the NFL, Cleveland. Home of the quarterback carousel and the coach that has the biggest target on his back. Trap game, for sure. But when all is said and done, our team will be 7-1 at the end of the first half of the regular season, and well on its way to a home field advantage and first-round bye in the playoffs.
So the game. Randy Moss was a non-factor, covered over the top by the safety and underneath by Arrington. All day. 8 yards. Salty tears after the game wishing he never opened his mouth and that he was joining in the muted Patriots celebration in the locker room. You did us proud when you were here, Randy, but you’re history. You’ve got your Pro Bowl quarterback in Minnesota, and speaking of him…
Here’s Fetal Favre himself, being carted off the field with a chin laceration. Wait, what? Could we please drum up some more drama? I mean, 8 stitches, people. Of course, that’s in addition to the amputated foot – calm down, it’s a joke. But seriously, he is a tough old bastard, isn’t he? He actually played a good game, too, until he added another injury to his insult.
Adrian Peterson is probably the best running back in the NFL. Not yesterday. Not against the Patriots. Don’t get me wrong, he had a good game, but not Adrian Peterson good. Yesterday he was introduced to the New England Patriots defense, and they rendered him, well, mediocre. Let’s face it, he
wasn’t Benjarvus Green-Ellis good! Glad this kid has a chance to show his stuff now that the excess baggage named Maroney is someone else’s head-scratcher. He’s been a nice little story since poor Fred Taylor has been sidelined with his yearly vacation after training camp.
Now, Minnesota has a pretty good defense. In fact, I thought it was good enough to pick up as my defense in Fantasy Football. But now I’m starting to question my choice. Jared Allen was the guy I wanted on my team, a beast, a whirling dervish, the Tasmanian devil, the guy that scared the shit out of every QB 
in the league. Has anyone seen him lately? Matt Light, the guy who everyone wants to put in a wheelchair at the old-age home, seemed to handle him pretty damn good, wouldn’t you say? Jared, what happened to you? I think we all can say with a reasonable degree of certainty that you need to grow back the mullet, baby. I get the whole wedding pictures/future wife didn’t like it crap, but, man, it’s killing you. Grow some bal…mullet!
Okay, so where are we now? Oh, yeah. Patriots won. Vikings didn’t. Patriots 6-1, Vikings 2-5. Defensive players I’m watching turn into big-time ballers before my eyes: Devin McCourty, Brandon Spikes, Jerod Mayo, Rob Ninkovitch, Jermaine Cunningham. Offensive binkies: Aaron Hernandez, Gronk, Alge Crumpler, BJGE, and the Biggest Little Giant, Danny Woodhead.
On to next week. My prediction? A nail-biter. Or a snoozer.
All Things New England Patriots 